Extension School Graduation (finally updating it after a month or so)

Alright, the entire delightful affair was set to start at 2pm. We showed up at 2:15 and were still over 30 minutes early. Still haven't figured out what the correct delay is to be "on time". As an honored guest (being Peace Corps Volunteers) we had to give a speech. I proudly stepped up to the plate.

The keynote speaker was a hoot! He spent about 75% of the time turning back and speaking to the director and academic dean of the institute and the remainder speaking to the graduates and Peace Corps Vols. His theme came from the book "The World is Flat", saying we have the ability to move $100,000 from Switzerland to Stockholm by Internet or phone, to purchase a home in California over the phone in Liberia. The playing field is leveled due to instant communication. Yeah, and so many people here in Liberia are wealthy enough to do those things? We still haven't a national power grid - everything is by generators! Anyways, next he looked at we two Peace Corps Volunteers and said, "Peace Corps is Jesus Christ! You go and live with the poor and work with them, just like Jesus did!" I'm sure you can all imagine how red already my sun-scorched face turned. Or create an unbalanced ego.

Then came the rally for funds for a generator and football uniforms. Imagine the coupling of riot and a monster truck rally. Pitting the men vs the women to see who could raise more money. I went to my happy place in my mind and showed my friend, the VP of the Demonstration School, my speech. He loved it.

What would a graduation be without a music selection? The vocal group slowly moved to the front, singing in the isles, and sang ... and sang ... and sang. The Energizer Bunny has nothing on these guys. After almost 10 minutes, people got up and gave them money to stop singing, which was their strategy in the first place. The battle of attrition finally over.

If you have a music selection, you must also have some sort of a drama! An excessively long skit about HIV and getting a haircut. Over here they use razor blades - the kind you'd see in a safety knife. How does the skit relate to the graduation? Well, you'll just have to figure that one out on your own. The moral was not to reuse the blades but to throw them away and use a new one. By throw away that means throw them on the ground. (Why not bleach them and use em again? And not throw them on the ground?) Yeah...

Now to the speeches from the honored guests. There were 15 honored guests. As some of you know as in Namibia, it is important to recognize everyone in the audience, even those not in attendance. The ceremony and speakers supposed to focus on the graduates. Not exactly... The trainer rep used it as a soapbox to criticize the Ministry of Education, the director used it as a chance to talk about the challenges of ZRTTI, the DEO as an opportunity to talk about school issues. All of this while the DJ played incredibly loud music - the speakers were in the front row, not being able to get the mic to work and trying to fix them as people were giving speeches and going so far as to verbally test the system while the guest speaker was up on the stage!

My inspiring speech ... at 5:40pm. The only one to focus entirely on the graduates and weaved inspirational phrases from Toto, Journey, The Princess Bride, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and The Life and Times of Tim to form a beautiful tapestry of prose. It took only three minutes. By far the most pithy.

Yes, we ducked out just before 6pm. Almost right after my speech. Earlier in the month I missed because the trainers and administration had a four and a half hour meeting. There were only seven items on the agenda. It ended at 7:40pm. Dinner ended at 6:00pm.

The graduates respectfully sat through four hours of absurdity to finally get their recognition, but not their diplomas. They were to be handed out at a later date.